“The first and greatest victory is to conquer yourself; to be conquered by yourself is of all things most shameful and vile.” Plato
Life is full of disappointments and regrets: some of them are minor and temporary, and some others are lifelong-haunting. Disappointments spring from external circumstances and unmet expectations; regrets are born within due to personal decisions, choices, and behaviors.
When life hits us with disappointments and regrets, and we become consumed by them, people tell us to “be positive“ and focus on something else to get our mind off of them. Being positive is essential, but it’s not the solution to pain and suffering. Pretending, denying the pain, and burying it before addressing it is just delaying and prolonging the problem as well as the pain.
As a defense mechanism, our brain tends to avoid disappointments and regrets, hide them, camouflage them, minimize them or even deny their existence, but this doesn’t serve us especially when future trauma or disappointments awaken old, unaddressed ones. Our brain tries to shield us from the pain, as it learns what makes us worry and suffer, and it thus runs away from it. Our brain is just numbing and avoiding the pain, but it’s a temporary relief. Not only is it not a solution to suffering, but it’s also wasted fuel to our goals. Pain should be invested, not wasted: Pain should be used to fire our motivation, to drive us for change and betterment. Acknowledging and facing them is the first step towards healing and growth.
Brain conditioning comes into play. It is very crucial in healing and overcoming disappointments and regrets. Our brain and body get so conditioned to passively reacting to toxic situations. Certain things and situations instill fear in our souls and we start to panic and feel anxious. Our anxiety grows bigger and deeper, and we start to feel it more often that it eventually starts to haunt us. We feel a rush of overwhelming fear, and we start reacting to life instead of acting and proacting. We become passive in our minds and bodies and start to feel trapped and hence give up our power.
This whole situation is created in our minds, and it takes a toll upon our body. We start to believe that it’s part of life, and that we ought to live with anxiety and fear, and that it’s impossible to escape them. Do we have to live with anxiety and fear? No, we don’t, especially when we realize how powerful our brain and thought could be. Our thoughts can condition our mind and body to become whoever we want to be. We become what we think we are, and what we think we can do. Therefore, transform your pain, regrets, and disappointments into fuel to fire up your passion and goals in life. If they are invested, they’ll launch you to endless opportunities and places that you never thought existed. Start your victorious journey today.